Not All Strength Is Loud

Thursday, February 22nd we transferred one top grade 1, near-perfect (Grade AB, for those of you in the know), 5-day blastocyst.   We’ll find out over the next couple days if any made it to freeze, but for now… wishing, hoping, dreaming, praying this little embaby sticks.

I’m going to be completely honest with you. Before the transfer, we didn’t get an update since Monday and I could think of little else but our hopeful little embryos growing in an incubator an hour away. Now that we had one to transfer (Thank You, God!), we’re in another wait! Waiting for my first blood test, waiting to find out how many/if any embryos made it to freeze… As I recently read somewhere, this process is a series of waiting, and that couldn’t be truer! You certainly have to learn patience during this process.

I’ve never considered myself a particularly strong person. I had a perfectly normal childhood, and honestly, didn’t have to overcome many obstacles growing up. I mean, I was a pretty dorky, puny kid and was teased, yes, but bullying wasn’t as prevalent as it is today (or at least, there wasn’t a name for it then). My parents are still married, my extended family is pretty damn awesome, and I have a great group of good friends – always have.  I know it sounds like it, but I’m really not bragging, it’s the truth.

Recent comments made to me about my strength through this situation have gotten me to reflect. Saturday was the one year ‘anniversary’ of our very first IUI procedure. Little did we know, 6 IUIs and a year later, we’d still be in the thick of it. I have found a strength I didn’t even know existed, let alone in me.  It’s a strength that came about in times of repeated disappointment (and sometimes loss) and using that strength to pick up and try again, and again, and again.

I am Strong.  I am a Fighter.
I am exhausted, but I will not give up.

So my point really, and I do have one, no matter what your situation… we all have the strength inside to get through and survive (in one way or another).  A new mom, a cancer patient, a student starting college – away from their family for the first time… we all find the strength to continue our journey. Because we have to. Because the alternative is giving up.

“Not All Strength is Loud”… Not all strength is found in the gym or track. Many times we don’t know our own strength until we are truly faced with adversity, and that is when we shine.