Even though I try, there are just no words that come close to help portray the intensity of the TWW. You straddle hope and reality. You walk a tight-rope of ups and downs. You give everything you have to put Faith over Fear.
At the day of the day (er, 14 days…), you just HAVE to put it in his hands. For the journey is long, the wait is painstaking, but the reward is sometimes too much to fathom.
I am desperately trying to let go and put it in God’s hands. It’s all I can do at this point.
But that thought is easier said than done. I might not have everything I want – but, when I’ve wanted something – I’ve worked for it. If I didn’t get it, I at least knew I gave it everything I had (or at least only had myself to blame).
But this… I’m giving it everything I have and still, almost 3 years later, a lot of money spent and still no real answers. It’s Faith that keeps me going, truly. Faith that above all, I was meant to be a mother, and I just can’t believe that God wouldn’t want that for me.
Our wait is almost over. The wait to find out if this month took and we’re on our way to being parents. I can’t sit still! Finger crossed our prayers are answered this month.